Well it is that time again, that time when we go crazy and put up all the tacky and flashy Christmas decorations. Being a red-blooded American, of course I put up my share of said decorations. In fact, I rather enjoy it. This blog will chronicle my efforts this year.
I have to say that I am amazed at the wondrous world that we live in. We live in a time when scientist have used genetic manipulation to create a tree that grows inside a box, doesn’t need sunlight, dirt or water, and even requires a little assembly to make full. Now if only they could make one that doesn’t shed its needles, we would live in a perfect world. As such, the first step to Christmas decorations is the putting together of the tree.
Next comes the lights and ornaments. My wife believes that you cannot have too many lights on a tree. You might also note that we have a LOT of ornaments on the tree. We have had 25 Christmases together and managed to collect many ornaments. Plus we went through a few years where my wife went looking for the “perfect” Christmas tree. There was the year of the plastic fruit ornaments. The year of the all gold tree (gold ornaments). The year of the red and gold tree. No matter what we tried, it never felt like “our” tree. Then, one year, neither of us were very excited about Christmas. I had setup the tree but was waiting for my wife to put the ornaments on it. She didn’t feel like putting them on. As such, a friend came over a few days before Christmas and was appalled to find that we had not decorated our tree yet. She then proceeded to unpack and place on our tree every ornament we had. That included all our gold, fruit, everything. When it was all done, we both realized that, at last, we had found our “perfect” tree.
I do have to say that I did receive some resistance in placing on the tree the handmade gold bows, that my wife had made, on the tree. But after a “Please, please, please” fit that would impress any 10 year old, I got her to agree to put them on the tree. Besides, how many of you can say that you have ornaments on your tree that are hand made? Well… let me rephrase that question. How many of you have hand made ornaments on your tree that were NOT made by your kids? My point exactly. These gold bows are pretty special to me.
Next to go up is the Festivus Pole. Yes, we do celebrate Festivus in our household. That includes the traditional meatloaf dinner, airing of grievances, and the feats of strength (although the feats of strength usually happen later that night after we go to bed).
We put up Christmas Town again this year. We have Shelly’s Diner, the movie theater, firestation and Mike’s Boathouse. I even have working street lights. All the town folk in Christmas Town await the arrival of that cute, fuzzy terror know as “Kitty-zilla.” For those of you who remember, last year, Kitty-zilla was responsible for the wanton destruction around the town and for the disappearance of two of the town’s children. But you will be happy to know that they were found, mostly unmolested and after a year of therapy and a lot of Prozac, they are ready for this Christmas season.
Now my wife and I do not have any kids, other than the kind that a four-legged and have more hair then me. Even so, my wife feels the need to put up a stocking for them. If you look a the picture, you might think that we care more about them then ourselves (since their stockings are a lot nicer than ours). That however is not the case. the ones on each end are stocking my wife made for use during one of our first Christmases together and they mean a lot to us. Plus, the stretch really well and you can really cram in lots of goodies.
The last part of Christmas decorations is the outside of the house. Now, decorating the outside of the house is a competition. However, it is not against your fellow neighbor, it is a contest against death. The real challenge is to not fall off the rickety ladder or roof while dealing with numb fingers, ice, and possible electrocution. i did have to make one trip to the store to buy some replacement bulb for the snowmen on the walkway.
Over all I am very happy with the decorations this year. Merry Christmas everyone!!!!!